Published on January 14, 2008
in Apple.
Hot on the heels of our previous exposé, we've received an exclusive photo from today's MacWorld keynote rehearsal at the Moscone Center that clearly shows the real bombshell that is going to make shockwaves at Steve Jobs' keynote tomorrow.
At the risk of causing widespread financial turmoil in the world's markets, we feel it's our journalistic duty to reveal that, according to photographic evidence which we present above, Mr. Jobs will be abandoning his trademark turtleneck sweater and blue jeans in favor of a sporty red tracksuit.
In the photo, Steve Jobs, seen gesticulating about a new product that you will be buying next week, looks comfortable in his new outfit.
Industry pundits will no doubt be falling over themselves to speculate on the reasons behind this latest unpredicted development. Our inside sources were uncharacteristically quiet, leading some in the press room to believe that super secretive Steve may have kept his costume change from even his inner circle at Apple. One industry analyst familiar with the photograph conjectured that it would make perfect sense for Mr. Jobs to seek sportier attire if he was to open the keynote by riding in on a flying MacBook Pro.
Others predicted that this might signal the launch of the long-rumored iPod Sport, also known as Sporty Pod (not as hot as the other iPods but with much better audio quality).
Here in the United Kingdom, a rowdy bunch of drunk teenagers commented "Oy, 'e looks jus' like us!" before downing another one. This prompted some to suspect that Steve Jobs may be attempting to woo the lucrative UK chav market after years spent ignoring this key demographic.
Not to be outdone, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is expected to present in nothing but a thong after shaking his booty to Britney Spears' "Gimme More" at the Convergence 2008 conference in March.
Original photo of Steve Jobs by Ben Stanfield. Remixed by Aral Balkan.
Published on January 11, 2008
in Apple.
ArseArs Technica have photos from the Moscone Center ahead of MacWorld on Tuesday where you can clearly see the message "2008 There's something in the air". I guess you know as well as I do what that means.
Yes, my friends, it's as good as official:
Apple is going to be releasing flying MacBook Pros (dubbed the MacBook Pro iFly) on Tuesday.
The iFlies are expected to relieve geeks of the physical pressures of carrying around their notebooks which will henceforth follow them around.
AralBalkan.com can also reveal that Steve Jobs is expected to announce the immediate availability of the new flying MacBook Pros by releasing a flock of them on stage at the end of the keynote.
It all makes sense. We've all been expecting the MacBook Pro line to get a radical overhaul this year. While Apple was busy spreading misinformation about an ultra-slim notebook they were secretly putting the finishing touches on the new MacBook Pro's dilithium crystal-powered nano warp drives. Insiders close to Apple have revealed that although the new notebooks are theoretically capable of Warp 9 speed, Apple will be artificially clamping speeds at Warp 1 for the initial run. We have, however, learned that Philip Torrone and his elite Make ninjas are close to perfecting a trans-dimensional time machine which they plan to use to go back in time, hack the new MacBook Pros before release to remove the restriction and create the world's first pre-hacked product release in the process (good luck guys!)
Several industry analysts that we spoke to predicted that we should grow accustomed to seeing flocks of MacBook Pros flying over major cities and an almost permanent spectre of circling notebooks should be expected to circle local Starbucks stores and university campuses.
The Mac rumor community will no doubt be completely blindsided by this latest development and I expect MacRumors.com, TUAW, etc. will be linking to this post within minutes of it going live (losers! pwned!)
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