14 Jan 2008

Steve Jobs in Track Suit

Hot on the heels of our previous exposé, we've received an exclusive photo from today's MacWorld keynote rehearsal at the Moscone Center that clearly shows the real bombshell that is going to make shockwaves at Steve Jobs' keynote tomorrow.

At the risk of causing widespread financial turmoil in the world's markets, we feel it's our journalistic duty to reveal that, according to photographic evidence which we present above, Mr. Jobs will be abandoning his trademark turtleneck sweater and blue jeans in favor of a sporty red tracksuit.

In the photo, Steve Jobs, seen gesticulating about a new product that you will be buying next week, looks comfortable in his new outfit.

Industry pundits will no doubt be falling over themselves to speculate on the reasons behind this latest unpredicted development. Our inside sources were uncharacteristically quiet, leading some in the press room to believe that super secretive Steve may have kept his costume change from even his inner circle at Apple. One industry analyst familiar with the photograph conjectured that it would make perfect sense for Mr. Jobs to seek sportier attire if he was to open the keynote by riding in on a flying MacBook Pro.

Others predicted that this might signal the launch of the long-rumored iPod Sport, also known as Sporty Pod (not as hot as the other iPods but with much better audio quality).

Here in the United Kingdom, a rowdy bunch of drunk teenagers commented "Oy, 'e looks jus' like us!" before downing another one. This prompted some to suspect that Steve Jobs may be attempting to woo the lucrative UK chav market after years spent ignoring this key demographic.

Not to be outdone, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is expected to present in nothing but a thong after shaking his booty to Britney Spears' "Gimme More" at the Convergence 2008 conference in March.

Original photo of Steve Jobs by Ben Stanfield. Remixed by Aral Balkan.

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Exclusive MacWorld Rehearsal Pic Reveals Real Bombshell

  1. uhm, you were going good, until you got to that final paragraph…. ;-)

    jd

    John Dowdell
  2. Aral, you have way too much time on your hands. :)

    Keith Peters
  3. @Keith: I wish! :) Although I did re-do the stripes on Steve’s pants three times until I was happy with them. Now Stevey got back! :P

    Aral
  4. Those paints look kinda tight… LOL!

    Samuel Agesilas
  5. Sam, don’t tell me you were staring at Steve’s ass? Tsk, tsk!

    Aral
  6. Thanks Aral, I always wondered what Steve looked like in a track suit. One of life’s little mysteries … finally revealed.

    Scott Janousek
  7. [...] January 14th, 2008 Tags: outfit by Dizzle in Dear Leader, MacWorld, sheer kool-aid Thanks to this devoted fan source, the real shocker is that Steve has decided that red is the new [...]

    » Shocking Stevenote secret revealed! i drank the kool-aid: clutching my dixie cup of apple goodness
  8. lol. nice junk.

    Tom
  9. I hate this guy!

    steveballmer